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My Experience With a Prison Pen Pal I am the webmaster for www.freethoughtbooks.org, the website for the Freethought Books Project, started by Leslie Zukor. One segment of the site tries to match freethinking prisoners with visitors to the site as pen pals. I volunteered to be a pen pal should a prisoner request one. A few months later Leslie notified me that a prisoner had requested that someone write him, which I did after getting his name and address, which was all I knew about him. I also knew almost nothing about prison or prisoners other than what we all get from the media, from driving by an occasional prison, and from stories I'd heard from friends who had to visit as part of their jobs. So I think I was a little concerned: will the prisoner be trustworthy, do you risk future problems by dealing with a convict, is he just looking for a sucker to take advantage of?, etc. But I have a great deal of respect for freethinkers, atheists, agnostics and secular humanists from my contacts with them in the past. They are certainly as ethical, if not more so, than any believers I have known. So I hoped for the same ethical nature from my pen pal, prison status notwithstanding. My first letter was of an introductory nature explaining my current and past status regarding work, family, interests/hobbies, and freethought. I asked him to reply and update me on his life, interests, explain what prison life is like, etc. He did, and I was impressed and extremely interested in him as a human being. He had no online computer access, so the good old days of snail mail were back with a vengeance. Turnaround time for our letters could easily be a month, much of that due to delays via the prison system in that I think someone in the mail room reads many of the letters that go in and out of the prison. Or they could read/look at all of them for all I know. What impressed me initially was that his handwritten letters were all "first draft," not the case where I typed mine on the computer, made multiple reads and corrections, and then mailed them out. His were written and mailed, and they were intelligent--really intelligent--and loaded with excellent ideas and information. I'll call him Dave, not his real name, to protect the innocent. Dave impressed me and got my attention from the first line of his letter and has maintained it through many that have followed. I was, of course, concerned with the reasons for his incarceration. Here is what he told me in the first letters: "I have never willfully and maliciously hurt anyone, nor have I deliberately gone out and wantonly committed any crime. I have made choices that ended up with me violating laws that have no basis in a reasonable society, as they are based on subjective and outmoded life-denying death-worships." I was comforted by those words, knowing that I'd have plenty of time to confirm their veracity. I was hoping he wasn't in prison for a violent crime, and glad to see that was the case, although I would have dealt with that, too. Dave gave me some history of his life, which basically helped explain why he was in prison. He never had a father and his mother was not a positive influence. I've seen one site that says that the percentage of people in prison that come from single-parent families is (or was in the 1980s) 85%. (http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/606607.html). I wonder where we could look to effect some prison reform? I can't vouch for the accuracy of that figure, but I assume it isn't too far from wrong. And it surely factored into Dave's life. He told me in one letter that he often wonders what could have come of his life if there were just one positive family influence, one person to guide him while he was growing up. I have no doubt that with his intelligence and talent, and a modicum of parental direction, the sky would have been the limit. Dave explained that he was a musician and a lover of music, from classical to acid rock. He had played guitar professionally and was teaching it in prison, and teaches other subjects as his job in prison. He explained to me that most everyone has a job in prison, or they somehow get by without one. Dave's pay is 17 cents an hour, which adds up to a whopping $25/month. That isn't funny money, he has to pay for everything he uses, other than his prison meals and uniform. There is a commissary, and he sent me the price of what he has to buy that includes, toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, shampoo, food items, and clothing. He was somehow getting by on his salary, but I assume many guys go in debt, barter, bargain, whatever to stay afloat. Dave mentioned one fellow he knew who volunteered for "the hole" because he was so far in debt that he knew he'd eventually be killed if he didn't get out of the general population. He then went on to describe his journey to freethought and explained that he never had any real religious feelings. He was forced to go to church, and experienced a fundamentalist-style exorcism in his early teens when his questions were too probing for the minister and others around him. That was his last trip to church. He said his current location was ". . . one of the last bastions of the Religionists: prison. Almost everyone is so desperate for forgiveness, they flock in droves to their priests, pastors, rabbis, and imams. As for myself, I don't ask for forgiveness, just understanding, so I don't go groveling in submissive impotence before any man-made god or symbol thereof." And he has undertaken a project to help some fellow freethinking prisoners with a legal issue regarding their status in the prison. So he's willing to share his ideas and expertise with other freethinkers. After his first letter, we realized the incredible coincidence that we had met previously when his car broke down while traveling near my home town more than ten years ago. I wrote back a much longer letter than I had previously to respond to his comments/questions and to give him my thoughts. Included in those were some offers of help, to see if I could get him some freethought books, or help with other needs and I asked him if it would be possible to get an education while in prison. I've read that recidivism rates can drop from nearly 70% to as low as 11% if prisoners get an education while there. We taxpayers are paying an average of $30-50 thousand a year to incarcerate each prisoner, for what purpose if we are doing nothing to assure they are reformed while there and have the tools to succeed on the outside when they are released? A college education can cost about the same as one year in prison, seemingly a good goal for both the prisoner and tax payers. (See http://www.brighthub.com/education/college/articles/83976.aspx). In doing some reading I found that when the Republicans took over Congress after the first two years of the Clinton presidency, stiffening crime laws was one of their goals and accomplishments. This included stopping all the education grants and scholarships for prisoners. Before this law was passed, none of this money was taken away from non-prisoners, it was simply left over and not being used, so it was available for prisoners. The get tough on crime crowd apparently never read the details to figure that out. So financial aid for prisoners was gone--and still is. And taxpayers continue to pay the bills for prisoners who often have nothing to do, no money to spend, and no where to go when they get out--so they frequently return to prison. Subsequently my mentioning education to Dave lit a real spark in his life for he had a long-term dream of college, but had no way to get it, so the idea lay buried in the depths of his mind. We have discussed the option and I offered to help him get a degree with the proviso that he consider the money to be a loan to be repaid to another prisoner after he gets out and is making money and able start repaying it. He agreed, and is now in the process of applying to college. I'm excited to see him get started and finally applying his talents and skills toward getting a degree. I asked Dave about life in prison and he suggested I watch the TV series OZ as a pretty close depiction. I ordered the DVD and watched the first disc and gave up. It was far too violent for me. And I've subsequently found out that things aren't that bad in the medium security prison where Dave is. But OZ apparently is quite close to what it is like in some of the higher-security prisons. It would appear to be hard to get out of such an environment without having post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). And, according to Dave, if you have that, or other mental issues, it can be the kiss of death to try to deal with them while in prison. If you request or need drugs, that can be a reason for them to keep you in prison for life, and without further judicial action, if they classify you as mentally ill. As I got more letters, they only reinforced the quality of Dave's writing skills and his intellect. I suggested he might want to write a novel or autobiography, both as a way to show the need for prison reform and to maybe make some money to further his education. He agreed, but was a bit hesitant since some of his past memories are better left unturned. But he has overcome the hesitancy and is in the process of writing, sending me a chapter with each letter. I edit them and return them to him for his approval and comments. When completed, we'll hope to find a publisher and get Dave's life and ideas out to the reading public. Dave went into more detail in later letters regarding the reason he is incarcerated. His story is that he was going with a woman who had I.D. and who told him she was 21. They had a pretty long relationship and they were talking about marriage when his entire life was upset as he was accused of statutory rape. At this time he learned her real age, and couldn't believe it. She was extremely intelligent and looked much older than her chronological age. Their relationship had been completely consensual, yet the the law pays no heed to that, they go strictly on chronological age. (See this site for details: http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm) And, no matter that she was the instigator of the relationship--albeit with Dave's complete cooperation--Dave was completely in the wrong according to the law. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse. He fully admits that he was gullible and will pay for that for many years. But, as he states, there was no forced sex, it was completely consensual. That won't keep Dave from being branded as a sex offender for life. Corralled in the same group as violent, ruthless child molesters, and murdering rapists whenever anyone hears those words "sex offender." This isn't right, but I doubt I'll live to ever see the laws change in that respect. I have become quite interested in prison reform due to my writing to Dave. He has ideas and I have some of my own. The problem is figuring how to get those to someone who can and will evaluate and try them out. Here are a few ideas: 1. How can you develop a system that would enable interested inmates a college education? This would be one of the most effective ways to reintegrate prisoners successfully back into society. But how do we get the money? 2. I've thought that something like "Adopt a Prisoner" programs might work. This is really pretty much what I've done with Dave. When I say "Adopt" I mean in the sense that a Big Brother and/or Big Sister gets involved in a youngster's life. They become a person who gives them guidance, ideas, friendship, moral support, and maybe financial help to get their life on track. These might very well start with something as simple as a pen pal relationship. There are online sites where you can find prisoners wanting pen pals, such as, http://www.inmate.com/. And, of course, www.freethoughtbooks.org has the pen pal section. 3. I think there should be an effort to retool the prison system from the ground up with the goal of making prison both punishment and reform, separating out the two goals into completely distinct entities. Why give someone a sentence that gets them out in a set time period if they aren't going to be good, productive, ethical members of society when they get out? I could envision "Pilot Prisons" where hypotheses are tested on new ideas to find which would work best to reach the goals. For instance, do we give X number of years sentences because that number has been shown to be effective at both punishing and rehabilitating the prisoner? Or is that just an arbitrary number that has no correlation with successful reform and reintegration into society for prisoners? I hope it isn't the latter, but I suspect it is. 4. I think that discussions on statutory rape laws should be a mandatory class for all high school students. I know in my own case I had only the faintest idea what statutory rape was and the punishments for violating it when I was a young man. I likely had my neck on the chopping block, but had no idea when I was dating, and I suspect the same is true for many other young men. And our laws aren't uniform. I heard a Loretta Lynn interview on NPR radio the other day where she explained she was married at 13, and I know that Jerry Lee Lewis, the singer, married a cousin of his who was also 13. One guy gets a wife, the other gets 10 years in jail for the same action. Doesn't seem fair does it? If we don't do active prison reform as part of our penal system, we are just shooting ourselves in the foot. It costs us more tax dollars if we can't successfully reintegrate prisoners, and these prisoners that end back up in prison likely earn that by committing additional crimes that also cost us money, injury and lives. So, if anyone has ideas or suggestions on how to get some prison reform ideas into the proper people's hands, I hope they'll let me know by emailing Leslie at www.freethoughtbooks.org, or on any other sites where this is posted. To continue on with Dave, my wife and I have now visited him in prison once in late October 2010. We both enjoyed meeting and talking to him, and our personal discussion with him only reinforced our feelings from reading his letters. I want to discuss a little how the visitation goes, since we were both a little nervous about that. I had talked to a women who's husband had been in several prisons, including some high-security ones. She told me we'd have our car searched, as well as go through airport-type sensors. She was wrong, at least in a medium security prison. They were quite sensitive about anything we brought into the prison. Essentially they allowed a clear plastic bag with dollar bills and quarters for the vending machines, and that was it. We had removed all our jewelry, everything in our pockets, our shoes, etc. I had tried to bring in Chapstick and even that wasn't allowed without a doctor's note. I also needed my car's information, including the license plate number, so don't forget that. And be sure you have applied for clearance as a visitor before your go. You have to do that and have your application approved to be allowed in. Once inside we were in a moderately large room with rows of chairs facing each other. A woman who was a regular visitor told me that it would be smart to buy food from the vending machines quickly because they can clean them right out. We didn't do that because we weren't going to eat there, and Dave only wanted soda. We were his first visitors there, and he later found out that the vending machines have "real food" so I think next time he'll probably have some. Early in the morning things were fine because there were only a few of us talking simultaneously. Later that became an issue as the noise level reached the pitch of a departing 737 airplane. We were ready to leave around noon, as planned, not because we were talked out, but because the noise was becoming maddening. They stamped our wrists with ink only visible in black light on the way in and I wondered why. Then they checked for the stamp on the way out and I got my answer. In the maddening noise and crowd I guess a prisoner could switch clothing with someone who came in and try to get out. But not without that stamp. Can't be too careful in prison I guess. So I can heartily say that I'm a fan of the prison pen pal system and would suggest anyone interested give it a try. I think it was especially nice in my case to have someone who was a freethinker as a common point of interest. I also often find that freethinkers' ideas about religion aren't the only areas where we agree. But I wouldn't just restrict potential pen pals to freethought, give it a try and see if you have other areas of agreement, or, even if you disagree, that can be great, too. You can try to have fun bringing the other person over to your point of view, or you going over to his. I feel really good about my friendship with Dave, and am excited that his life will be better because of our friendship. His long-term outlook was bleak, and he has a new-found hope for the future and a reason to want to get out and back into society. That hope of his brings hope to my life too, and I eagerly await the future trusting that Dave's and my life will both be better for our pen pal experience. Jerry Donnelly |